5 Questions You Just Shouldn’t Ask

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Whether you are pregnant or a new mom, you are going to be bombarded by all of kinds of questions. In my experience, most people don’t even think about what is coming out of there mouth before they experience “inappropriate question vomit”. Some things we just don’t want to and shouldn’t have to answer. Here are some questions you just shouldn’t ask. Just don’t.

“Were you trying?”

Is my procreation status any of your business? I definitely know how often my husband and I have sex isn’t. Would you like to know about how I was tracking my my monthly ovulation? Or that sometimes, you have to check your cervical mucus if you want more information on your own ovulation? Would you like to know which positions we tried because they might be the best for conceiving? Whether we were trying or not doesn’t matter, we have a baby on the way! We are excited and you should be too, regardless of if we were actively trying or not.

“How far dilated are you?”

You do realize you are asking about my vagina, right? Yes, vagina. And you are asking a question that you REALLY don’t want the answer to. Example: My doctor can stick two fingers into my vagina and they fit inside my cervix, isn’t that exciting?! No, just no. Also, if you are trying to use this information to determine how quickly I am going to give birth to my child, that won’t work. You are just giving me and you both false hope. There is no correlation between dilation and how soon you are having a baby. So, quit asking.

“You’re STILL pregnant?”

Yes. Yes, I am. I’m just as unhappy about it as you are. I’m huge and uncomfortable and ready to meet my child. It’s agonizing. Please stop reminding me. I know, I know, enjoy every minute, blah, blah, blah. Have you ever been 38 weeks pregnant? It isn’t fun and I just want it to be over.

“When do you think you are going to have him?”

I have no idea. No, I don’t “feel” it. I don’t even know what that means. This is my first go round here. Let me reiterate – I am miserable. That’s all I know. I’m not so patiently waiting for this whole pop-a-baby-out thing to happen. I can’t give you an answer.

“Are you breastfeeding?”

Again, the answer to this question may be something you aren’t expecting. If your answer is yes, that’s pretty simple. Great! If heaven forbid your answer is no, there is always the follow up question “Awh, what happened?” You know you are asking me about my breasts right? My nipples? You aren’t prepared. Example: I really wanted to breast feed, but unfortunately it didn’t work out. My nipples are inverted, meaning they won’t get hard. That means my nipple isn’t long enough to reach the back of my son’s mouth to trigger his sucking reflex. Also, because my breasts are large and uneven, using a nipple shield is a real pain. Wanna know more about my boobs?

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Yeah, what he said!

Seriously. People just don’t think before the speak. Remember, you are the momma and you don’t have to answer questions. You can say I’d rather not discuss this and not feel bad about it. It’s your body, your life, your child, and it’s none of their business.

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