Forget Your Labor Worries
I think it is pretty well universal that when a woman finds out she is pregnant, and sometimes even before, she begins to worry what her labor will be like. There are so many questions that run through your mind and so many unknowns to dwell upon. My mom and I had this talk I don’t know how many times, especially toward the end of my pregnancy. We discussed all the things I could possibly think of to worry about while in labor. She assured me again and again that I wouldn’t care, but of course, I didn’t believe her. Well, much to my chagrin, she was absolutely, one hundred percent right. (Mom, I know you are reading this. Can we just pretend like I didn’t admit to that and move on? – Love you!)
Anyway, here are some things that pregnant women inevitably worry about but absolutely shouldn’t.
Shaving Your Lady Bits | Once you are 39 or 40 weeks pregnant, I can almost guarantee that you will no longer be able to see your vagina. It’s just part of it. It disappears and only comes back after you’ve shoved a football out of it. It’s kind of like magic. I really worried about how hairy it would be “down south” when the time came to push out said football. I continued to shave throughout my pregnancy, even did the whole mirror in the bathtub, legs sprawled trick. It wasn’t pretty, but it got the job done. The moment that you get told to go to labor and delivery – as in my case – or you go into labor, you aren’t going to care. When it’s go time, there is nothing else you can even think about. Your body takes over and does what bodies have done for a very long time. You don’t get to think anymore, you just do. The longest nine months of your life is about to be up one way or another and worrying about hair – the kind on your head or elsewhere – is no longer an issue.
Who Will See Your Hooha | Let me just go ahead and answer this question for ya – everyone will see your hooha. Or at least that is what it will feel like. But it absolutely won’t matter. You won’t care, they won’t care. I promise. When you are in the throes of labor, all that matters at that point is having a baby. At one point throughout my labor, my husband began counting how many people had been in and out of the room to check me. They even took turns sometimes and discussed how far dilated they thought I was – I’m being serious. And you know what? I didn’t care. I just wanted them to decide I was at ten centimeters so that I could start pushing and have my dang baby already!
Pooping on the Table | Number one worry right here, folks. I dwelled on this longer than I care to admit. I was so sure I was going to poop everywhere and I would be absolutely mortified. I knew my husband would be in the room with me and while we share almost everything, that is one part of my life I’d rather keep to myself. Ladies, let me tell ya, it doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do, whether or not it happens is absolutely beyond your control. When you are in a crazy amount of pain and just ready to see your beautiful baby, you won’t care about what is coming out down there unless it is a freaking child. Also, if you have an awesome birthing staff like I did – and I sincerely hope you do – they’re going to promise you that you didn’t whether it is the truth or not. Yes, I asked. I rolled over and looked my nurse in the eye after three hours of her staring at my vagina and asked if I had pooped on the table. She was absolutely perfect and assured me I did not. I have no idea whether it was a lie or not, but I’ve convinced myself she was telling the truth. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
The moral of the story here is – don’t worry about the things beyond your control. Don’t worry so much about how your labor is going to go, who is going to be around, or what your body is going to look like. You will be doing something much more important than worrying, you will be bring a life into the world! So enjoy your pregnancy, forget the small stuff, and take it day by day. Pregnancy – and labor, for that matter – can be agonizing, but we are so fortunate to get to experience. The moment you see your baby it will all be worth it (and you will never have the time to worry about any of this stuff ever again)!